OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
