You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
