Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
