glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
