please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
