yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
