U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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