He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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