i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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