Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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