Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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