i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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