I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
