using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
