insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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