Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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