The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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