I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize