your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Randomize
