Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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