did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
