I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
