Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
