Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
