I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
babies were throwing up all over the place
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
