Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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