Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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