Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
