everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
