OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
