Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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