guys are not supposed to queef...right?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
