to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
