She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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