so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
this is an emotional support booty call
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
