Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
