Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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