wrigley field is MILF paradise
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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