Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
