I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
