i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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