Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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