He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize