I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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