We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
