Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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