My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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