You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
