I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize