I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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