I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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