The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
