so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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