They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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