as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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