is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
