i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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