I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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