ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Dick very happy bro
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
